In the House of the Hangman 1307

The day of your death I put a 50-mg dose of Testogel on my skin, so that I can begin again to write this book. The carbon chains, O-H3, C-H₃, C-OH, gradually penetrate my epidermis and travel through the deep layers of my skin until they reach the blood vessels, nerve endings, glands. I’m not taking testosterone to change myself into a man, nor as a physical strategy of transsexualism; I take it to foil what society wanted to make of me, so that I can write, fuck, feel a form of pleasure that is post-pornographic, add a molecular prosthesis to my low-tech transgendered identity composed of dildos, texts, and moving images; philosophy in its original sense was understood to be a kind of tropism whereby the finest flower was the opening of a great window but I must not promise too much. Across sculpted surfaces glowworms manage excess with initials some call instincts and others choose to relish for their own sake. How many times has a gift become a crisis? But we should not forget that all caste and class systems, whatever their differences, are grounded in a value system extolling the virtues of the spirit over manual work, of the leisured class over those who must earn their keep, of meditation over activity, of things done for their own sake instead of for sheer physical survival. Remember Lord Curzon’s surprise at seeing soldiers bathing during the First World War: ‘I never knew the working classes had such white skins!’ Well, the Party inverted this. ‘Actually existing socialism’, although it was not socialist, was unique in operating a terrific moral switch by asserting the superiority of manual labour and putting the worker at the pinnacle of the moral hierarchy. It is seldom understood what a tremendous cultural coupure this was. It earned the regime more hatred than anything else ...” We can see an incredible funhouse mirror distortion of this in the US, where being “just plain folks” is the sales pitch, I mean just look at the Bush and Obama personae, at ads for trucks, etc ... odd how the socialist and the American myths overlap ... And odd too how there is a lot of leftist writing now against work (or at least against having a job ...), at the same time shrines are built to San Precario … If Marx only knew what “alienation” as he used in in 1844 was going to come to mean ... but how could he have? I mean,

Roll away        the dew
Roll away        the dew
Roll away        the dew
Roll away        the dew

In Franklins tower the four winds sleep
Like four lean hounds the lighthouse keep
Wildflower seed on the sand and wind
May the four winds blow you home again.

Roll away        the dew
Roll away        the dew           Constitutive of stone put down / grown by marking silt; artifice more sourdough there; there deduced from fractured clay matrix – and culture; culture’s modern loaf induced. Let a leaf be cultural in this world; then, let a leaf’s waxy index of antihistamine eventually be an event it (leaf) might not have issued.

[Note: Sources: Beatriz Preciado, “Testo Junkie: Sex, Drugs, and Biopolitics”, at e-flux, Apr 013; JBR; Jose Benardete, Infinity: An Essay in Mataphysics, as quoted in Shahar Ozeri, “Philosophers: ‘long on promise, short on performance’”, at Perverse Egalitarianism, 27 Apr 013; Carla Harryman, “Noise for Adorno”, in Postmodern American Poetry: A Norton Anthology Second Edition (ed Paul Hoover); G. M. Tamás, “Words From Budapest”, at New Left Review 80; JBR, some of which appeared in FB comments, 28 Apr 013: Jerry Garcia / Robert Hunter, “Franklin’s Tower”; Marjorie Welish, “Possible Fires”, in Hoover]

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