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11.12.2010

Comments

Stuart

It easy to say avoid assholes.But there are so many snaittious, where you can not aviod such people.Is it not also your own personal perception of who has this label? My late Mother was Bi-Polar and i had one label attached, with personality Disorder, with paranoid traits.I totally reject the label, as this is used, when they don't know what is wrong? I have recently had to start taking blood presure tablets.Which are making me so down and try to tell GP.There must be a correlation, between the psychological health and the physical symptoms? I have spent years going round and around.The stigma i attach to myself is heartbreaking.In my experience.It is the people in Psycharity which are at question.

Julie

, I like the calm voice, the sense of conversation with self. With that in mind, on to the crit.Your poem needs ponutcatiun and it should be consistant throughout.Your two-line stanzas break the flow. I read all poetry out loud and find that the extra pauses forced by the frequent stanza breaks detracted from the poem. I would suggest punctuating and breaking as follows.No call today or yesterdayin fact nothing for over a week.It’s not that I’m expecting the call -not that I think it’s my right.More that I know, if they’re minimisedthen some poor soul’s lost their lifeor his legs or an arm, has a holein her chest, or maybe she’s lost her sight.So my fingers stay crossed for the phone to ringfor then everything’s under control,My fears are allayed, but much more than that,They’re having a safe, quiet night.I'm not terribly fond of the ending although it is a wonderful closure for the worry. but much more than that might be rephrased to flow better. The they that you refer to in the last line doesn't link back to a they in the previous stanzas. You've switched between a male and female in the worry, I assume that there is a couple that is the focus of the worry. With the stanza breaks that I suggested, the last stanza could use some fine-tuning. Thank you for offering this for my review. I hope what I've mentioned is helpful. I truly enjoyed reviewing your poem.Beth

Adma

- Kristy,Your honesty is rnheesfirg. When I think back over your past year of blog posts, I can see that when you are most broken and anxious, God lifts you up and carries you over a threshold that terrifies you. And on the other side of the door, you share with us the most beautiful stories of his power and provision. Praying that this will be another of those threshold moments where you feel his arms take over.Michelle

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