Re, res, real, realm, reality from thing, thingness, object, objective realize, to establish the thingness. Act, actual, actualize, actuality. There was actually a chair there. Tho I did not see it; tho I did not believe there was one; I was not sure there was one … I actually saw a chair there. Tho there was no chair there. Tho I did not think I saw a chair there. I actually thot I saw. I actually thot “I saw” I actually thot to see. I pretended I thot I saw. I actually pretended I but imagined I pretended. I don’t know, man: I just can’t stand to see people go hungry … saw too much of it in India, see it every time I go back – had a patient today who stole 2 pork tenderloins from the grocery store & spent 7 months in jail because he couldn’t pay the $72 the court demanded: stealing food is called a “Class I Misdemeanor” in this country ... It’s a grim business. Scant histories run through psalms whispered, the lip readers talking to the hair-raisers. This is the fish, this is what he looks like, sheeted on the operating table, bound for knocking against what is maybe like the dawn we could see and the nightfall we couldn’t dream. You are repressing your alpha-male status precisely by pre-identifying it. I hope you dream instead of being stroked by tapirs reading from the Arcades Project. You what? Anyway, I was just reading the Wikipedia page and found one of the saddest stories ever: “If a bull moose is castrated, either by accidental or chemical means, he will quickly shed his current set of antlers and then immediately begin to grow a new set of misshapen and deformed antlers that he will wear the rest of his life without ever shedding again. The distinctive looking appendages (often referred to as ‘devil’s antlers’) are the source of several myths and legends among many groups of Inuit as well as several other tribes …” Jacob also says, “Soledad Brother is such a difficult text for me – because it presents the most eloquent and urgent politics of vengeance that I know, one which runs counter to every one of my Adornian impulses. Having spent too long trying to think through this problem I am convinced now that it is a properly historical one – that the question that needs to be raised is one in a context where the old dichotomy of socialism and barbarism is no longer sustainable, because socialism has happened, it is the boom that provides the social democratic backdrop to the last 20 years of Adorno’s writings. The question is, I think, properly raised anew in Jackson, of what potential there is for a barbarism after the end of socialism (or the end of the possibility of socialism). I love Irving Wohlfarth’s long essay on Benjamin and the Red Army Faction that came out a few years ago – but I think there’s a more interesting historical claim to be made than the mere transposition of Benjamin’s suggestion of a ‘new mode of barbarism’ (in ‘Experience and Poverty’, which borrows a lot from Brecht) into the 1970s – the question is that of the *form* of nihilism counterposed against the decline of the big political state. I know that this question rings with echos of thinking over the last 40 years, and I am ever more unsure about where I stand with regard to those revolutionary nihilistic and pessimistic tendencies that are so easy to dismiss as merely mythic. The best suggestion I can make is that they offer an anti-historical response to a historical problem (something I’ve suggested that Kracauer in revolutionary nihilist mode does as early as the 1920s), but I am forever stuck with where that leaves critique, and as Adorno knew well, thinking as such. His concerns expressed in the ‘Resignation’ text are still hugely powerful, while I have objected extremely strongly in those situations where those mythic elements of social movements have become police-like, and where I still believe they need to be brought to self-consciousness. Sorry, this is a rambling comment and I don’t know why I am writing it here. I just wanted to hint that this writing really does open some big questions for me that offer a far more interesting history that is somehow inseparable from the history of old-school critical theory than the usual rubbish history where neo-liberalism and Habermas happens and there really isn’t anything at stake.” Which is to say that Hits of cram were flaunting round the mulch, which is to say that as I cull through surveillance files Portland Police kept on over 300 activist groups in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s, I jot down sentences and phrases that begin with “she”. In Urdu time is weirdly ambiguous and flexible: the day for “yesterday” and the day for “tomorrow” is the same. So what does soon mean in Soon you will become a planet, moons and everything? The first printer jam happened when I was trying to print out something entitled “rescued document,” which turned out to be thousands of question marks produced by the computer without my input. The rest of the text was, as you see, taped on there by some thieves. The burlap sacks fill up, bric-a-brac books stones, then some people put rats and shit in the bag, what faces those rats had, my God, what injured little eyes those rats had, my God, we separated everything out right there: rats and shit here, books stones and bric-a-brac there. Never any food. We were busy all day. Its moiré panels bulging out — voice particles — burn up my saints and spread their ultra-ashes, wordicules, on rachitic raspberry bushes, thin sea lions, brainsick undancing bees. “I used to be Millicent, but now I am Franny” (Ted Berrigan, 1973-74) Pressed against the barriers of deepened rows of math, deconsolidated, a thoughtself in the ovum of the bee, O be some other name! — “and you can self-remember the teachings”. Sink slowly, deep in bad ice.
[Note: Sources: Robert Duncan, “Some Terms”, quoted in Donna Fleischer, FB post, 6 Jan 013; Manish Varma, FB post, 6 Jan 013; Michelle Chan Brown, “DB 18: A CENTO”, at Drunken Boat 18; Nina Power, FB comment, 6 Jan 013; Jacob Bard-Rosenberg, FB comment, 6 Jan 013; JBR, but see previous and next; Jacob Bard-Rosenberg, FB post, 6 Jan 014; JBR; Crag Hill, “8 of Diamonds”, at Crg Hill’s Poetry Scorecard, 6 Jan 013; Kaia Sand, “Statement”, in “Kaia Sand”, at Everyday Genius, 6 Jan 013; Brenda Hillman, “Paper Jam Rescues”, at They Will Sew the Blue Sail 25; Hilda Hilst, “Letters from a Seducer” (tr. John Keene), at The White Review 9; Frances Richard, “How to Conquer Stupidity”, at Heir Apparent 19]