That’s right. In a debate about the legal rights and protections surrounding a woman’s reproductive system, you cannot say “vagina”. Because it’s just so … icky. And it’s so not Michigan. And the show ends with a “creature report” where we’re told all about the creature in question, which is generally a sea slug or a deep sea tarantula or some other creature about which you will be unable to answer your child’s questions without resorting to Wikipedia. Which means you’ll have to learn something new for a change, you complacent Cheeto eating bastard. Is that a snail in your pocket? “We can imagine scores of bizarro Levinases, little philosopher machines sent into the sensual interactions of objects like planetary rovers. Their mission: to characterize the internal, withdrawn subjectivities of various objects, by speculating on how object–object caricatures reflect possible codes of value and response. Object ethics, it would seem, can only ever be theorized once-removed, phenomenally, the parallel universes of private objects cradled silently in their cocoons, even while their surfaces seem to explode, devour, caress, or murder one another.” So it is with the fox. She or he who has the fox as a soul companion does not live very long. Whatever shame I feel in the face of sovereignty is inseparable from this arousal. In other words, time is a fighter jet, the way spirit is a bone, and the object of my rage secretes the same auratic halo. Like the best philosopher, my soldier subtracts the real from what can be thought and this enhances his allure, makes me love him even more. Translated into military language, the point is not to shoot, but to clarify the shot. So precision bombing has penetrated my poems and yet not even a single one of my feelings is precise, the words even less so. There are only two kinds of jobs available: killing people or Diet Coke. Great, I thought, all in bed. The door was about four inches from closing. I thought, uh-oh, this isn't right, and then, links, associations, newspaper headlines in a dark tunnel. On top of the tarps, they put oatmeal and red Jell-O. A Nokia phone will withstand being steeped in water for a night. It will be fine after being stripped and placed in a cup of rice. It will withstand a two-story fall. And one group of plants “has a neural network that detects a stimulus and finds it funny.” The plant “laughs” by shaking its leaves. The question then arises, what might a plant find funny? The answer turns out to be an inverted light spectrum. Dude. That rocks. I certainly hope that the North Pole Inner Earth Expedition happens.
[Note: Sources: Magical Ersatz, “Please Don’t Talk About Your Ladybits”, at Feminist Philosophers, 15 Jun 012 (“In a debate on a [Michigan] bill that would restrict abortion in a number of ways, state representative Lisa Brown finished her opposition speech with: “Finally, Mr Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.” Ms. Brown was then banned from speaking in a subsequent debate.”); JBR; Robert Archambeau, “The Good, The Bad, The Unforgivably Canadian: Notes on Contemporary Cartoons”, at Samizdat Blog, 15 Jun 012; JBR; Ian Bogost, as quoted in Timothy Morton, “Nice One Ian”, at Ecology Without Nature, 15 Jun 012; “On the Human Condition and the Moral Order – The Chamula Origin Story” (tr. Gary Gossen), in In the Language of Kings: An Anthology of Mesoamerican Literature – Pre-Columbian to the Present (eds. Miguel León-Portilla & Earl Shorris et al.); Rob Halpern, “MEMORANDUM”, in “MEMORANDUM and OBSCENE INTIMACIES from MUSIC FOR PORN”, at Joyland Poetry, 15 Jun 012; Drew Gardner, “They Found Us”, “I Started to Warm Up”, at Caesura; Steven Shaviro, “Forms of Life”, at The Pinocchio Theorem, 13 Jun 012; JBR; Jacob Sloan, “Arctic Expedition To Prove That The Earth Is Hollow”, at Disinformation, 15 Jun 012]